Monday, September 6

RIP Mochi

Emergency post. I'm crying. I'm guilty. I'm totally wrecked. I can never be the same again. I've experienced death two times now. Just now and just two weeks ago, when Pudding died just as suddenly. I can't believe I didn't find out Mochi had died sooner, when I reached home an hour ago. I only went to check on her after I'd taken a hot bath. Too bad its effects are wearing off on me.

She was lying sprawled in her food bowl, and her eyes were open. I knew she was dead the minute I looked at her through the cage. She couldn't have been sleeping -  she wasn't moving or breathing. When I touched her, she was stiff, but not as cold as Pudding had been when she passed away. I unfolded her tiny legs - stiff too. Her hands were frozen in midair. I'm gonna look at her again when I've composed myself. I'm crying twice as hard as I had last two weeks.

This is it. I'm hamster-less. Blaming myself for being such a bad owner and not being there for Mochi when she breathed her last during her final moments (God knows how many hours ago when I was out).

Anyways, my mother's called the cremation guys and they'd be over in an hour and fifteen. That's another 60 bucks for transportation. I am still in shock Mochi died all of a sudden. But then, she had been out of energy and lying in her cotton bed all day. She could barely climb the ramp in her cage. She had little fur left and recently, her stomach and rear had been really wet and cold. And it is not surprising for a hamster to die so quickly after her cagemate (Pudding) died. Mochi must have been devastated too.

And what aggravates me the most is that my friggin' father (I'm not gonna regard him as one anymore. He's a stranger and f***ing arse to me now) SCOLDED and YELLED at me when my mother told him she called for cremation and that the hamster had died. Scrooge. He also threatened to throw my future pets down the balcony if I ever bought a new one. Heartless creature. He'd have preferred it if my hamster's carcass could just be easily thrown down the rubbish chute. At least my mother's not that inhuman. From now on, he's no family of mine.

I'm gonna miss Mochi and Pudding so deeply. I've grown so attached to them, when I got them in 2008 on August 2nd. Pudding died 2 years and 20 days later, and Mochi lived till September 5 2010, exactly two weeks after Pudding passed away.

I'd get her obituary ready too days later. I hope they cremate her proper and bury her ashes well. Gonna create a tribute for both my hamsters after my exam in a few days. Time to mourn.

Anyways, this is a final note for Mochi.

Dear Mochi,
You'll forever be my first and beloved pet (along with Pudding). I hope you've crossed into the afterlife and into Heaven and rejoined Pudding. I hope you two are happy there and God is taking good care of you. I'm so terribly sorry I wasn't with you during your last few moments. I shouldn't have went out. I'm gonna fill your box with cotton when the cremation person comes to collect, so you'd be comfy in there. I'm gonna miss you so much, and I'll be praying for you every single day. Most importantly, you'll never be replaced, or forgotten. I wish I was given more time with you on Earth, or that I'd played and stayed with you longer today. Forgive me for not being there when you passed away. I love you Mochi, forever and ever, even if you were just a wee hamster that my heartless "father" couldn't care less about. I hope you'll hear my heartfelt words wherever you are and know that I will always love and miss you.
Love always, 
Your Owner for 2 years and 34 days
A framed photo of Mochi I compiled together a year ago. She was a total cutie, especially when she slept.
Still an old photo of Mochi. Adorable furball goodness!
The most recent photo I've got of Mochi. This was her exactly 2 weeks ago, during her birthday party with Pudding. 

Updated an hour later...
The cremation guy came and I went about my business in the balcony (disinfecting all the things that'd once belonged to Pudding and Mochi) as my mother settled the paperwork with him. Then, my father came up behind me (albeit quietly) and scolded and lectured me for keeping a pet in the first place. He's probably sore about the money that is used for the cremation transporters. Then, when the guy left, he started YELLING at me.  It's unfortunate how cruel and heartless someone related to you can be. He threatened to throw all of Mochi and Pudding's things away (thinking that I want new pets) and forbade me to buy new ones again. He wasn't a bit remorseful about the death of Mochi, even if she had been a wee hamster. What justice is there in this world, I tell you? He even scolded me for CRYING over my hamster. That is why from now on, I'm never, ever gonna regard him as my family, much less my father. I've had enough of his mindless yelling and cold heart. Share

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